What’s not working for most women I know is being a lone wolf, trying desperately to figure out life or how to achieve your goals on your own because you’re too [insert whatever shameful thing you tell yourself here].

You’re dying inside because you desperately want to be more, do more, have more. Maybe you’re stuck in a loop of lack of self-care. Maybe you’re stuck in a loop of not speaking up or having appropriate boundaries. Maybe you’re stuck in a job you hate, in a relationship that sucks, in a friendship circle that puts you down. Maybe you’re stuck in a loop of feeling so overwhelmed with life and the current chapter you’re in because it truly is SO HARD.

I get it. Really I do.

AND….it isn’t serving you to hide out in shame or shrink into a hole because you feel so shitty about not being able to do what you keep saying you want to do. In fact, your secret fear, doubt, self-loathing and belief in your inner critic is only binding you in more shame.

It’s keeping you stuck in that toxic spiral. I know how it goes because I spent a good part of my adult life living there too. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life. And it is why I scream from the rooftops to show women there is another way to live your life. A way that will fuel your fire and give you belief in the way you had not ever thought possible. How you ask?

Lean the F*ck in!

Find a community of positive, forward-thinking women who will support you and LEAN THE F*CK IN! Maybe this solution only worked for me, but I highly doubt that because I am a part of a team of women who continuously share the same message of our community being the thing that has transformed their lives more than anything else.

I am not saying you have to join MY team to be successful in shedding your toxic shame spiral. What I am saying is you’ve got to be willing to show up somewhere and give yourself permission to be seen, heard and validated.

Start small with a few trusted friends or go bigger by intentionally seeking out positive communities that will help you grow. Whatever you do, don’t isolate. Humans are wired to connect. We all want to love and be loved. It’s impossible to feel that true connection with others when we hideout or shut off pieces of ourselves in order appear like we’ve got it all together.

Nobody has it all together. Nobody!

Instead of hiding out, practice taking small steps to get outside your comfort zone and truly challenge yourself to be seen in new ways. Speak up when the waiter gets your order wrong. Ask for your salad dressing or the booth with the window. Stop going with the flow so much. You have a voice and it deserves to be heard. YOU deserve to be heard. Honor that.

And please please, give yourself the gift of community because a lone wolf usually ends up pretty lonely.